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Jersey Shore Massacre
When Teresa and 5 other girls leave their New Jersey salon for a typical weekend of sun and sin down the shore the situation takes a bizarre turn leading them and five obnoxious fist-pumpers into the mysterious Pine Barrens to become the unsuspecting targets of a deranged killer.
23 September 1985, Baltimore, Maryland, USA
12 March 1953, Long Island, New York, USA
1 April 1974, Fort Scott, Kansas, USA
28 July 1981, Baton Rouge, Louisiana, USA
August 17, 2014
Imagine the cast of MTV's Jersey Shore stuck in a slasher movie - but then remove any bits of entertainment, intelligence or respectful execution you might assume would be present. Who pulled the pin on this grenade?
August 19, 2014
Watching the hopelessly vapid get taken out, one by one, has never been more depressing.
August 21, 2014
Acknowledging Hurricane Sandy, "Jersey Shore Massacre" reminds viewers that it's hardly the worst disaster to hit the region. But it gives the Hindenburg stiff competition.
August 17, 2014
While the film fails to break any new ground in terms of the splatterflick genre, it's still entertaining enough to recommend, provided you have a strong stomach for vivisection and Italian stereotypes
August 21, 2014
This irredeemably awful film should only be viewed under threat of grievous bodily harm. And even then, you should give your choice some careful consideration.
August 25, 2014
Brutal even by B movie standards, making for one of the longer 88 minutes no viewer should ever be forced to have to endure.
August 22, 2014
As willfully lowbrow dumb fun goes, it's pretty painless.
August 20, 2014
What keeps Jersey Shore Massacre lively is that this mean-spirited, aggressively stupid film constantly finds new and shocking ways to be terrible.
August 22, 2014
I felt like I needed to take a shower before I went back inside my house.
August 21, 2014
"Jersey Shore Massacre" doesn't even take place on the Jersey Shore, nor do any of the reality show's stars show up despite Jenni (JWOWW) Farley's prominent billing as an executive producer.
August 22, 2014
There's no ignoring the aggressive stupidity and crassness behind the whole enterprise.
August 25, 2014
Distinctly unimaginative in its third act but competently made nonetheless, "Jersey Shore Massacre" should divert viewers under the right circumstances. Otherwise, this is pretty disposable fare.